Boy Eats Girl by Stephen Bradley [2005]

Title: Boy Eats Girl
Director: Stephen Bradley
Starring: Samantha Mumba, David Leon, Tadhg Murphy
Runtime: 80 minutes
Year: 2005

Occasionally I wish there was a specialty made fast forward button simply titled “Cut the Shit” that drags you right to the goods. This is a movie that should be used as my perfect example for such an invention.

A little backstory shall we? Nathan, oh Nathan. The typical high school boy that crushes on his best friend but lacks the balls to chase her. But Nathan’s in luck, for it seems Mrs. Potential Girlfriend Jessica just may have a little interest in him too. Aw, how Disney.

After a series of miscommunication Nathan fears he’s lost Jessica for good so the only logical next step at this point is suicide by hanging. Well of course, what else would a silly high school boy do?

But to die is clearly not so easy these dies. Not when your mom knows just how to bring her dear son back from the grave. Who cares if he must live on a fresh supply of flesh and brains from here on out? At least he’ll be home for Thanksgiving.

For a movie that’s only 80 minutes in lenght, the entire first half is an utter bore if you can’t tell from my tone above. It was almost painful to sit and watch the same teen movie garbage we’ve seen time and time again. At least with those Irish accents I have something to pay attention too. Similar to if there was an adorable dog running around, it’s cute to watch but certainly nothing to write home about.

Once the school goes mad and kiddies are eating each other left and right things really pick up and the movie takes an unexcepted turn. The gore is certainly there, the cheese factor is high, and the kills may not be all that original but they are most definitely entertaining. Even the comedy is pretty on point. The majority of the characters are nothing more than a body to be consumed but still with the small parts they are given the cast for the most part rocked it. The token scumbag entourage that accompanies Nathan during his adventures are nothing out of the norm but seem to give a nice break here and there from the pupply love mess.

Overall, if you want some short and bittersweet zombie kill scenes watch the last 30 minutes or so. Watching the beginning is similar to watching a Sweet Valley High re-run.

Half-ass recommended.